Thinking about going on holiday this year? If you’re thinking of organising a few Mexico holidays this year, think again, because flying to this gorgeous, varied country is pretty much the worst.
The delightful people
The people of Mexico are so friendly they’re like a sugar injection directly into your heart. Who would want to encounter a people so accommodating and charming that you might want to extend your holiday? No one, that’s who.
The delicious, mind-altering food
I think we can all agree that salivating over freshly made food is a real nuisance. Discovering flavours and aromas that you never knew could blend together in such perfect harmony will only highlight to you the total lack of Mexican food in your general vicinity back home. Avoid.
The fascinating history
Everyone has ancient cultures, amirite? Just because Mexico was once the home to the innovative Aztecs and the ingenious Mayans doesn’t mean you need to go see their awe-inspiring temples and pyramids. Stepping back in time and losing yourself in the wonder of human history is probably not for you.
The incredible diving
Who wants to swim in water as warm as a bath, and sink beneath the waters to discover life as bright and colourful as a rainbow? Learning about nature and becoming one with it is totally dumb.
The gorgeous beaches
Ugh, nothing is worse than opening your doorway and seeing miles and miles of powder white sand lapped by turquoise water. That’s so cliché, right?
The varied terrain
We all like flat, featureless landscapes, and Mexico couldn’t be farther from this ideal. Who wants mountains, lakes, gorges, rivers, rainforests, beaches, caves, waterfalls and colourful cities when you can have a barren field? WHO?
The great weather
Reliable sunshine and warm weather is really a drag. Who wants to see the blue sky every day when you can embrace white, grey and ashen skies? Nothing says holiday quite like tons of rain and brutal winds, Mexico has barely ANY of this.
Hidden getaway locations
Humans are social animals, finding a little tranquil deserted getaway is pretty much the worst thing for us. We like to be pushed around by crowds, bustled by a constant stream of people and not allowed any peace and quiet for any moment of the day, so being able to escape to a private beach on the Yucatan is probably Mexico’s major downfall.
Easy on the wallet
Imagine getting to the place of your dreams and having it be really reasonable and inexpensive, what a terrible burden! You’ve saved all year for your holiday, all prepared to go into debt and then Mexico comes in with its excellent prices and high value and you end up saving money. Ugh, Mexico, you’re the worst.
Tequila!
Authentic, flavourful Mexican spirits are annoying in the sense that they a) do not make you feel sick, and b) taste amazing. I think we can all agree that tequila was best when we were 22 and overdid it and then could never drink it again. Who wants high class, perfectly distilled liquor? Not us.
Go home Mexico, you’re drunk.
This post is written by the Chrysty Miles. I thought I’d feature it as Mexico is high on my dream places to visit. Is it on yours?