You know you’re a Parent When…

The moment you find out that you have a child growing inside you, with fingers that grasp, feet that kick during the last three months, and a heart that beats, you are a parent. On day 21 the heart begins beating; in week nine the child gets fingerprints and in week 11 he or she learns to urinate. By week 13 you may find out whether it will be a boy or a girl. Then, in week 23, a rhythmic jumping sensation may signal that baby is hiccupping. Every week that passes is a cause for celebration and excitement. By month nine, baby is ready to be welcomed into the world outside of the womb. 

You will know you are a parent when suddenly, eight-hour long sleep times have become scarce and two-hour naps are the norm. Babies need to be fed and diapers have to be changed. Most of the time, babies keep irregular hours. Grade school years are a little better but come teenage years, sleep is once again a thing of the past. Nights are filled with worry when the daughter fails to get home before midnight, or when the son takes the car without permission. 

Their first date and their first heartbreak are causes for more sleepless nights. Driving theory practice is just like making your child do homework back in primary school, only a little more difficult. Parenthood does not stop when your child becomes an adult. The problems simply get more complicated. Relationship woes, finishing college, getting a job, losing a job, getting married, divorce – these are just some of the perils of adulthood that children will have to be prepared for. It is our job as parents to help with that preparation. 

Being a parent is a complicated job. It is equal parts love, discipline, support, guidance, and a whole lot more besides. Discipline is essential, even for a young child. It is a way for the parents to teach, and for the child to recognise, unacceptable and acceptable behaviours. This empowers the child to face the world and to grow up as a responsible adult. However, for discipline to be effective it should be consistent and fair. Lack of fairness may breed contempt and lack of consistency will confuse the child as to what kind of behaviours to avoid. Support is necessary to boost the child’s self-esteem. Good self-esteem leads to self-confidence, which helps a child participate in society as an individual. Education does not just mean formal education in schools. Education starts at home, from ABCs and table manners through toilet training. When a child starts school, parents are side-lined by friends and schoolmates. However, the little scrapes at the playground, the petty fights with other children, will lead the child back to their parents for love and consolation. 

It is important to maintain a close relationship with the child for the child’s stability in the long run. Spending time together while still giving the child time to spend alone or with friends can nourish this relationship. Parenting can be a difficult job, but it surely is a rewarding one. 

This post is protected under copyright. SusankMann 2009 – 2014